Suffice to say that I couldn't sleep the night after the concert. It had been such a
nice evening! My mind just kept on wandering to Angela. I was even more in love with her
than I had been before the concert.
There was also one big worry now though: I knew she had discovered my feelings for her.
She has looked at me with this 'oh shit, you are in love with me, right?' look in her
eyes.
After a night of about no sleep at all I woke up to face a new day. The whole day I wanted to call her but I just didn't dare to. What were her feelings for me? What if she didn't feel the same? Wouldn't it be better just not to know?
It took me in total 2 days to get enough courage together to call her.
I have to tell you before I continue that I am normally not this bold. That I am
normally a completely innocent girl and so that I don't know where the words came
from...or the thoughts, for that matter.
Anyway, so after 2 days I finally called her. I had decided that it would be better
to know. I don't think she was surprised by my phonecall...she'd probably expected
it. I don't know the word for word phone conversation any more. I only know this
part:
I told her that I had had great fun and that I would like to do it again, upcoming
weekend or something? Oh, and I also told her that she could sleep at my place then,
because at least then she could drink alcohol. I really don't know where that
came from! It was out of my mouth before I knew it and to my absolute surprise she
said: yeah ok, why not? YAHOO!
We set a date for the following Saturday and I was as happy as I ever had been.
Later on I heard that she had had a conversation with a friend of us. Telling him the whole story. Asking him what would be wise, because of my age. He luckily told her that he didn't see a problem, so what was she moaning about? Thanks again Leo! I really think that had he said anything else...she might not have come even.
Next Saturday came, we went out for dinner and later on returned to my room. I had put a mattress on the floor for her to lie on. I would sleep in my single bed.
The whole evening I had already felt the tension. Don't know if you have ever been at this point, but if you have then you know exactly what I am talking about now. I almost couldn't look her in the eye, my whole body tingled and I didn't know what the hell would happen.
When we were in my room I put a cd on, she positioned herself on the mattrass and I went to sit, and later to lie, on the floor. I can tell you, that was painful! We listened to a whole lot of cd's, we talked yes, but it took me so long to get useful sentences out of my mouth!
I think it took me about 1 hour to tell her that lying on the floor started to be
painful, so could I please have a space on the mattress? It took me ages to ask
that, the tension just rose by the second and I couldn't get that simple question
out of my mouth. In the end I did, but it took me an awfully long time!
She went to lie a bit differently and I pulled myself onto the single mattress.
The mattress was lying against a cupboard on one side, so she went to lie on her
right side with her back facing the cupboard and I went to lie on my back.
I can tell you, whatever I had felt while lying on the floor...this was probably worse. I was lying so close against her, could feel her heat radiating against me, but nothing happened! The tension was so terribly bad that I had to do something, anything. By now it was already like 3 in the night..so you can imagine that I was about desperate!
In the end I couldn't take it anymore. It was almost 4 and nothing had happened,
the tension was so bad it couldn't get any worse... I had thought about this for about
an hour and I decided that I had to take action. How bad could it get?
She had come again, she was lying on the mattrass next to me, it was 4 in the night...
So then I got all my courage together and just kissed her!
Luckily for me...she returned my kiss. Suffice to say that I didn't sleep in my
own bed that night and we haven't looked back since! :)
We started living together after about 3 months, which is now already a bit over 5
years ago. I love her to bits and I am still happy that I took the decision to take
the plunge and kiss her. If I hadn't done that...then my life would be completely
different now. I guess that is my advise: dare to take risks sometimes, your life
might be fuller and more fulfilling. Sure enough, it is also more dangerous.
But you never know what is waiting for you around the corner!